Move in Faith

Let’s Talk: Humiliation

“I thought I heard from God”… “I thought I was led by the holy spirit.” These are the thoughts that came to me when things all of a sudden came to a halt. the halt wasn’t the problem because my faith is solid— I’m used to maneuvering, but what do you do when your plans are interrupted? Lord, why have you forsaken me is the first question I asked when things began to change direction or in my mind crumble. I have people looking at me crazy…I have my kids looking at me like mommy you have to handle this going from hotel to hotel sleeping in my car, rejected from family; All because I trusted “THE VOICE” that told me to go. I still can’t believe I drove all the way across the country to lay my head down it took us 10 days ( that’s another story for a different blog). I know the holy spirit led me to take a step of faith so I did and everything seem to go left after I took a faith leap. I lost almost everything.

HUMILIATION – embarrassment, shame, to humble

I had a dream that this guy quoted this scripture that was also given to me by a wise lady…Matthew 23:12. I must be feeling humiliated. I never thought that humiliation was what I was feeling. I didn’t take the moment to feel I just knew that I had to survive and handle things that were slowly crumbling. At times you become so engulfed with the survival of life you become so numb or desensitize that you can block what God is trying to reveal to you. I had gotten so used to handling things (leaning onto my own strength) even after prayer. Although I know or believed I knew what the Lord was telling me I still didn’t surrender all areas of my life …I didn’t surrender my anxious thoughts. I wanted so badly to prevent failing or disappointing my children that I would do anything even going back into survival mode to keep us afloat. I didn’t realize that this was my pattern of survival and that it would eventually lead me to this halt.

Lean Not Unto Your Own Understanding

I know God deals with the heart. I am afraid, anxious, angry, embarrassed, confused, rejected, and fearful. I have nothing but my kids, my faith, and I’m literally starting over in a place of the unknown. The scripture I hear is Matthew 23:12 it talks about humility and pride; it speaks on how God honors humility but the pride will eventually be bought down. What’s funny is that I thought I gave God all of me…I thought I surrendered everything, but It is evident that I didn’t. To the place(s) God is taken me I needed completely surrender–even my anxious thoughts.
I want to be humble. The three people that came to mind during this time are Job, Joseph, and Jesus who were all humiliated. Job lost everything only to be exalted after and rewarded with double. Joseph lost everything was counted out by his brothers and thrown in a pit to die, but he was exalted later; he even told his brothers after everything that occurred; “you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good”- Genesis 50:20. Then you have the Kings of Kings, Jesus who was betrayed, denied, rejected, and humiliated, but he still walked in his purpose—upright. He never shrunk to the standards of what naysayers believed. In the garden of Gethsemane, he asked for the cup to be taken from him but then surrendered because he wanted the will of God. He gave his anxious thoughts to the father. He amongst all was humiliated, beaten, and mocked for us all and for the greater purpose. The King of all, Deity, left his throne went literally through hell and back for us. He never shrunk because of what others said about him he knew who he was and knew the purpose of his why.

The other night I told God, that people are mocking me saying “where is her God”…like in Psalm 42:3. What do you do when you know God is near, but he seems silent?

God gets the glory no matter what.

Pride is so much more than not asking for help… it’s not surrendering your whole being to God and leaning to your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6
New International Version
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

IT’S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR

This place of humiliation is where I learned vulnerability, surrender, and how impatient I am. I have learned how to love others while feeling rejected and unloved. In this place, I am truly becoming free from the bounds of unforgiveness (of myself and others), shame, and guilt. I learned that forgiveness is different when you have to confront it head-on and not from a distance or in our busyness. It is easier to forgive from a distance.

Stop doing things in your own strength trust GOD lean not into your own understanding

During this place of humiliation, I keep hearing God say “do not lean onto your own strength… trust me, talk to me.” I keep leaning into My own strength especially when I feel like a leeway to do it on my own. In the new place and season, he is taken me I have to learn vulnerability in another way. Just when you think you trust in God, HE challenges you to continually surrender. He wants us to take the “I” out of everything and replace it with “HIM”.

I leave you with this:

You see in the place of humiliation it’s more than just being embarrassed or feeling ashamed. In this place, it is humbling, not false humility, but the humility to see God in every area of your life.

Psalm 127
1 Unless the Lord builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain

BE@Peace ✌🏾♥️🦋

When Favor Overtakes You

Imagine someone running behind you that has been trying to catch up to you and when they finally catch up to give you something its something that you needed or that you didn’t know you needed. Even imagine you running towards the ocean and a wave overtakes you. You know that sudden overwhelming feeling?… Although, you see the wave coming… it happen so suddenly that it engulfed you…. that’s how favor is. Favor comes so heavy like an outpour. Favor will have you asking, “Lord do I really deserve this?” The thing is you have been waiting and praying for these blessings for so long… that you feel undeserving of what is coming towards you. The outpour that God has bestowed on you does not only have to be material, but it could be your joy, peace, health, relationships restored or given to you… the thing is god hears you. That’s how favor over takes you. The things you have been praying for know that if it aligns with the will of God in your life he will deliver. The scripture says write the vision make it plain though it may tarry it will not lie and will come to past.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 King James Version

²And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.

³For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Deuteronomy 28:2 English Standard Version

²And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God.

I am inspired by my daughters faith and childlike heart. She had been expecting this package from her grandmother and in this package it had what she specifically asked for; everyday since the package was shipped she was looking out of the window and kept asking is the package here yet. She has checked and asked so many times to the point she became anxious. Seeing her anxiousness I reassured her that the package will be here. I told her, “you know that it has been sent and on it’s way, so remain patient and hopeful.” I even expressed her that I admired her childlike heart.

The thing about my daughter receiving this package is that she expected what she asked for not to think that she could possibly receive beyond what she was expecting. That is how we are with waiting on the Lord we pray specifically for things we desire not thinking at times that God mostly if ever gives us just want we ask for, but he blesses us beyond measure.

Matthew 7:7-12 New International Version

Ask, Seek, Knock
⁷“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
⁹“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ¹²So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

My daughter never stopped expecting and trusted the word that was given to her that the package will arrive I admire and adore her for that…we should be this way never giving up on the promises that he told us.

Mark 9:23 English Standard Version

²³And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”

My daughters package arrived when she least expected it: my sister and neice called her name and she went downstairs to see what they wanted…. after seeing her package she immediately ran upstairs in excitement and said, “it’s here!” Her expectation/anticipation/excitement never left and she got more than she hoped.

We have to know that the promises are coming and we should never reject what we know and keep hope in what God promises are concerning us.

When the favor of God overtakes you it may feel scary to the point of where you are asking God, are you sure this is all for me

When the favor of God overtakes you it may feel scary to the point of where you are asking God, are you sure this is all for me, but when it’s your kairos time the lord will give you wisdom on how to handle your blessings. Stay in prayer and pray to be a good steward of the things you have prayed for and remember to always be thankful.

Philippians 4:6-7  New King James Version

⁶Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; ⁷and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Be@Peace

Becoming: Restoration

Restoration– repair/mend; to bring back to the place of recognition; bringing back to its original state.

I am praying for restoration

To the Tanesha, before the tainting

Although the tainting helped me become who I am

I desire the wholeness of me

The me… God sees

Taintedness… creates an obscured view of how things are supposed to be

I want to see God the way HE sees me

Therefore, I am secure in who I am

So, I will never project my insecurities on others

As I am becoming and evolving; I have noticed that God is Restoring. Ever since last year, I have been praying for restoration. I see it is unveiling itself. I am being restored. The first, process is my mind. Second, are my relationships.

It’s beautiful how God knows when to pull at our hearts; HE knows when we are ready. The Lord knows what we need before we pray for it. I’m evolving…I’m growing. God is doing something with in me: HE’s giving me back all the years I lost.

Joel  2:25-26 New International Version (NIV)
25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]—my great army that I sent among you . 26 You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed."

God creates the finish masterpiece. You see, this story that has been written and is being walked out… is a story created by God: everyone has one, but we can choose to write our own or follow HIS. Through faith, allow what you thought was broken to become God’s work of art. The Lord has a way of restoring us no matter how off track we’ve gotten. HE restores us to the place we need to be…without missing a beat. I love you Lord.

Allow God to refine you such as gold (Zechariah 13:9). When you are restored by the Father, the process may be rough— kind of like going through fire: however, know that you needed the processes. Pure gold passes through fire to become as shining and beautiful as it is.

I prayed for restoration: God has shown and is showing me the things, I need to work on. As HE is helping me, I am growing, evolving changing. I want to fix myself so that I will not cause pain to others, because I have not dealt with me. How lame would it be if I’m healed and the people who were with me or I encountered during my healing are now tainted and have to heal, because I projected my insecurities and my messed upness on them. No, no, no! I have to deal with me now in silence and sometimes out loud with Christ. I desire to live in peace and love.

Pray:

Lord thank you for your compassion and patience toward us

I pray that through our mess… If we have caused pain or harm to others that you heal the person we offended as you are healing us

We thank you for seeing in us what we lack to see in ourselves (Ephesians 2:1-10)

Thank you for being a restorer

and

Lord, give us the faith to trust you during this process of restoration

Thank you, Father, for seeing us as completed creation (1 Peter 2:9), but being compassionate enough to meet us where we are

We Love you Father God

Amen

I Love Y’all… Be@Peace!

El Roi

In Hebrew, El Roi means “the one who sees me.”

So, I get up early in the mornings and mostly it’s God awakening me to pray and during this time I also reflect. In the past couple of months I have really been seeing God on another level… not only that, but I’ve been revealing my heart to him…being completely transparent. I also been noticing the way God wants me to deal with my issues… so HE’s been showing me the depths of my heart… the places/subjects not yet to be touched or the things that lie dormant (Psalm 38:9).

I awoke to an Anita Baker song in my head called, “Sweet Love” (Zephaniah 3:17). I knew it was God speaking/singing to me, because I didn’t listen to Anita Baker until that day. I immediately looked up the lyrics and lo and behold the Lord was singing a love song to me. The thing is God sees us even when we try to hide or suppress our feelings.

When I went to sleep the night prior to this happening I was a little down on myself and feeling a bit rejected and not enough. One thing I know is that God sees me, hears me, knows what I need and my hearts desires. I am not forgotten. HE knows the deep ocean of prayers that I have/haven’t spoken to HIM. HE remembers. I’ve always wanted someone to see me and God really sees me. HE cares.

The same is for you HE cares. HE cares about the things you don’t even mention. HE cares about your entire being. HE wants to deal with the things spoken as well as unspoken….so that HE can bring the best out of us.

God pursues us…we don’t have to be anything, but our authentic selves with HIM. HE makes us better. We are never second to HIM. We are bound to HIS heart. We are the apple of HIS eye.

I want to leave with this prayer of thankfulness to the LORD also known as El Roi:

Lord thank you for loving us as first, our LORD, for choosing us and being concerned about our very being. YOU are the lover of our soul. Thank you for showing us your unfailing love… through the good, bad and even in between times. Thank you for not giving up on us and for never leaving us You said in your word that you will never leave nor forsake us and your word hasn’t failed yet (Deut. 31:6-8). You also said nothing can separate us from your love (Romans 8:31-39).

I love you Father.

I love y’all…Be@Peace!